26 June 2012

Confidence

    I've heard the word dogma used a lot of different ways.  A "dogmatic" person can be stubborn, tenacious, adamant.  You can spin it either way.  But dogma tends to have negative implications.  Instead of defining it with a dictionary, I think its actually more helpful in this case to see how people in society have used it.  Take a look at these quotes, at least the ones from the names you recognize (Steve Jobs, G.K. Chesterton, Thomas Aquinas). http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/dogma_2.html. Most dictionaries define dogma as unquestionable beliefs which are prescribed by a group or church, but for better or worse very few people accept entirely the dogma of any organization our group as equal to their own personal opinions.  So for practical purposes, in this post, I'm defining dogma on an individual level, as the beliefs which an individual holds and is unwilling to question.
Lake Mich     I've been thinking about the idea of dogma for over a year now.  At first I was trying to figure out whether it was a good thing or a bad thing.  I came to think of it as an antonym for open-mindedness.  But I had heard a lot of conflicting things about open-mindedness as well.  You know how they say if you're open-minded your brains will fall out?  But then in any movie where someone is trying to reform or invent or reconsider anything substantial and faces obstacles, they tell the habit following people not to be so closed-minded.  Well, then I was in high-school and I read London and Shelley and then I went to college and read Descartes, and I realized that some people questioned things that seemed pretty obvious to everyone else.  The thing is, once you start seriously questioning something, it's hard to stop until you find solid evidence for it ("you're waiting for a train").  I did some thought experiments with ideas about reality being an illusion, etc. and realized that those considerations simply weren't beneficial.  So for pragmatic reasons, I simply accepted the idea that our senses and experience are in some sense real, and questioning that could not lead to any benefit.  I memorized Hamlet's famous soliloquy about being or not being and pondered it for a while. Hamlet's initial argument: life is full of pain, death ends life therefore death is good.  He decided against suicide because he thought there might be something worse ("dreams").  That argument didn't really do it for me because I had read C.S. Lewis and he thought dying would be like waking up from a dream (Romans 8:18).  I figured though, if I was going to wake up from the dream eventually, then I really had nothing to lose and I might as well make it the best dream possible and let myself wake up naturally.
   So those were two questions which I settled for myself and decided that pursuing them was worthless.  If someone told me that life was meaningless, so I would be better off killing myself, I would resist the urge to ask why they hadn't taken their own advice and I would have to decide between Proverbs 26:4 and Proverbs 26:5, depending on the person.
   On the other hand, there are some things that I've ruled out that I probably shouldn't have.  In general, my friends are Evangelical, Republican, law-abiding, and the only R-rated movies they watch have Mel Gibson in them.  I remember in high school, a certain set of my friends started  making jokes about how stupid that culture was and they started rebelling.  It looked to me like they were rebelling for rebellion's sake.  I didn't buy it.  I actually thought there was a lot of value in those conservative values, and I didn't see any reason to ditch them unless I found something more valuable.  Then I came to Wheaton.  Wheaton, the town, is about as conservative as Suburban Chicagoland gets.  Wheaton College is pretty quiet itself.  The rebellion here is surprisingly quiet.  A slightly vocal minority complains about strict rules (they're really not that strict most of the time) a smaller minority breaks the rules, but for the most part people are really okay with mandatory chapel attendance and waiting for official dances to bust out their moves.  But I've encountered various perspectives on some subjects that I had set aside as settled.  Economic.  Scientific.  Theological.  There were stances that I never really considered.  I agreed with them because they were things that conservative, Bible believing people believed.  Not necessarily because they were beliefs that are in the Bible.  I hadn't realized that other Bible-believing people believed other things.  Don't panic.  Most of my opinions haven't changed.  Actually, I think the fact that I've seen other reasonable perspectives on so many things has allowed me to be more confident about less questionable things.  I've yet to encounter a situation, story, movie or argument that has caused me to think that my only responsibility or duty for my actions is to pursue my own happiness.  There is a core set of values and virtues that I have never found a good reason to question.  Passion for God's glory, love, humility.  There are other things that I almost put down like loyalty and diligence, but those depend on the prepositional phrases attached to them: Loyalty to what?  Diligence in what?Peninsular
   When it comes down to it, I have a pretty short list of things that I'm not willing to question at all: axioms.  However, there are a lot of other things that are pretty closely connected to those that you would have to work pretty hard to get me to overrule.  I believe God exists.  It's hard for me to imagine myself sincerely questioning that.  I also believe that Jesus is God.  Based on those two things, it's not much of a jump to believe that I shouldn't be stealing or murdering.  Of course, there is a host of reasons why I could be wrong about that.  I might be completely misunderstanding Jesus' words.  Somebody might have copied them wrong.  Someone else who looked like Jesus might have been impersonating him on the one day that Matthew was paying attention.  But you can see that with something that straightforward, you have to work pretty hard to make a good case against it.
   On the other hand, some beliefs that seem to be completely supported by scripture when the first person convinces you and quotes a Bible verse (Proverbs 18:17, Matthew 4) can get pretty shaky pretty fast when you start to put pressure on them.  Think of it in construction terms.  You want the lowest parts of the building, the ones closest to the foundation to be the sturdiest.  Then you can build other solid, but less critical beliefs on that solid framework.  “Facebook is a detriment to society!”  Sure, that can be part of my belief structure but it’s not close to the core.  Capitalism, save the environment, small government, reformed, anti-Facebook, pro-business, young earth, progressive, Kantian, neo-Marxism, might all be good ideas (probably not all of them).  Those sorts of beliefs need to be put in their proper place and not too closely identified with the heart of Christianity, the gospel.  They cannot become interdependent.  Faith in the gospel must not rely on confidence in interpretive methods and social strategies.
   I think my central point is that dogma should be grayscale, not black and white.  There are some beliefs that should be held very closely.  Once doubts have been entertained they must be dismissed unless a new, separate case is made (like a suspect who can't be tried for the same crime twice).  On the other hand, it is important to bring our beliefs into question at some point so we can determine the basis for those beliefs.  If our justification is solid, then our belief will be all the more steady.  If not, perhaps we should consider alternatives and pursue deeper lines of questioning.  Here’s my parting challenge:  Think of the beliefs that are most important to you, and the beliefs you are most confident in.  Hopefully, there is some overlap.  Then try to support the important beliefs with the ones you are most confident in (1 Peter 3:15).

06 June 2012

Summer Research

    It’s summer now, has been for over a month.  Time flies.  Don’t worry about it.  Sometimes I do.  This time I don’t.  I don’t know why.  To my friends from back home, sorry to have missed your graduations and parties.  I’ll be home for a few weeks this summer.  We’ll catch up then I hope.  ‘til then enjoy the sun.  And to my college friends who are scattered across the globe right now, enjoy your various adventures.  I’ll see you when the fall semester begins, unless you graduated.  In which case, you have my best wishes in your pursuits.

    I’m still in Wheaton.  I’m doing research in the physics department for ten weeks.  Don’t worry if you don’t know what that means.  I didn’t really know what it meant until I started doing it.  I’m living in some “on campus” apartments which are farther from campus than a lot of “off campus” housing.  It’s about an eight minute walk to the science building where I work every morning.  I work from about 8:30 to 5:00 Monday through Friday.  For the most part I’m working on a computer that whole time.  The schedule itself is pretty interesting.  I guess it’s what most people do every day.  It’s actually been a lot more relaxing than the school year was, finishing class around 3 or 4, Glee Club, Tolkien Society or small group activities until about 7 and then studying until three or four in the morning.  I’ll admit I get distracted easily, so it’s not as intense as that makes it sound, but I had a pretty rough year.  I’ve always been skeptical whenever I’ve heard a working adult say “enjoy your college years, as soon as you graduate you’ll have to deal with all the stresses of working a real job for the rest of your life.”  I’ve always suspected that a full time job couldn’t possibly be as stressful as my college schedule.  Well, I’m sure there are exceptions, but so far I’m liking the 9 to 5 no homework thing.

    People also say that Wheaton is a ghost town over the summer.  Myth #2 busted.  It’s definitely quieter, but in my personal experience, there’s plenty going on.  Of course, I got lucky.  I happen to have five great friends from my floor living two apartment complexes down working for the college doing maintenance.  I happen to know a bunch of the other researchers in my apartment building and I’m in a full stairwell, plus I happen to know some of the staff and professors decently well.  Honestly it’s been pretty great socially.  It’s easy to find some space tor read or get away, but it’s also pretty easy to round up some friends and have some fun.

    Research has been interesting in a lot of ways.  Maybe it’s a little weird for someone who wants to be a teacher to be doing research as a resume booster.  I think it makes sense though.  For one thing, if a student ever asks what kind of career you can go into from studying physics, I’ll know first hand.  Also, if I ever teach at the college level, some research background might come in handy.  I also like learning for learning sake, and I’ve definitely learned a lot too.  I know a lot more about ultrasound technology than I ever thought I would, and I’ve also gotten some practice with computer programming which I’ve hardly done anything with in the past.

    Basically my project consists of testing a computer program that measures the diameter of a carotid artery lumen.  The lumen is the cavity or the space between the walls of the artery.  There are a lot of different steps, and I tend to go back and forth between all of them, working on one thing until I hit a dead end, then working in another area while I wait for an e-mail or a mental breakthrough.  The final project seems pretty simple, take some ultrasound images of carotid arteries, measure the actual diameters, run the videos through the program (WALDO) and see whether WALDO gets them right.  Really it should be pretty simple, but the whole point of research is that you’re doing something no one else has ever done before.  It turns out, there tend to be a lot of obstacles when you’re doing something no one has ever done before.  You know the Thomas Edison quote about finding so many ways not to make a light bulb.  That actually makes a lot of sense now, narrowing down all the possibilities and taking the time to try them all in the hopes that something works.  I don’t know if all research is like that, but it sure fits my experience.  When I finish a day of  work, that’s usually how I measure my success, “well I can check that off the list, I now know that the bmp_getfile program is not where the zooming problem is coming from.”

    One major piece of my work has been trying to collect good images that simulate carotid arteries well.  We need to have images that are similar to real  blood vessels because we want to know that WALDO works with real vessels.  If it gets us correct diameters images that are completely different, it won’t do us any good.  It would be like testing an apple peeler on oranges.  So to get images that look like arteries, we use phantoms, which are basically tubes (I’ve used latex and brass, brass didn’t work very well) suspended in gelatin, so the gelatin is supposed to look like soft tissues (like fat, skin, or muscle) and the tubes are supposed to look like the walls of the vessel.  We’ve built a few phantoms and we also bought a commercially produced phantom.  The commercial one doesn’t have any tubes, just fluid suspended in gel.  There are also a lot of variations of settings on the ultrasound machine which affect the image.  It’s surprisingly easy to get some image from an ultrasound machine and surprisingly hard to get a good one.

    The other major piece is working with WALDO itself.  It’s a pretty old program and the core piece of it that we’re trying to test is the actual algorithm that measures the diameter, but there’s all kinds of peripheral stuff around the program that lets someone use it.  It had some glitches when I started working with it, and I’ve been making edits to the program in order to get it to run smoothly. 

Today there was an interesting surprise and at the last minute Dr. Poelarends asked me to help him at the observatory.  There must have been about a thousand people from the area who all came to see Venus pass in front of the sun, so I worked one of the telescopes and was adjusting it to make sure the sun was always in view while people stood in line to see the transit.  If you want to know more about the transit and what we did at the observatory follow this link: http://wheaton.edu/Academics/Departments/Physics/Astronomical-Observatory